倒数19天

还有19天就可以回家了
越接近回家的那一天就越想念
想到要流泪了

19天，在这19天中，会发生很多事情。
要交作业，要考试，要present。
虽说是19天，好像不长，但在我眼里却是好几年。

我想明天就回家了。
岁月漫长，以后的日子会更艰难。

我已经习惯了

以前，每次回到家，都会听到一种声音。
我已经习惯了，那无数次的争吵。
有的没有的，反正都与我有关就是了。

不知道今年会不会这样。
上个星期突然决定要回家。为的是过年。
我总不能三年的春节都在马来西亚过吧。
虽然冷，但是有无比的兴奋感，如果你来广州过一次新年，你就会明白我的感受。

明年的新年，会不会又是我和妈妈两个人过？
以前看电视连续剧，看到很多家庭都只剩妈妈孩子两人，有点伤感。
现在，我也成了连续剧了。
我不知道我是否在庆幸着这种生活。
其实我告诉你，我是孤单的。
看见别人一家三口。我真的没有在羡慕吗？
小时候很多事情，妈妈说长大以后再告诉我，但那时候我已经大概知道一些。
原来我也会有这样的人生。

过去了。我已经习惯了。
但是每当别人问起爸爸，我都只能说是工作忙。
这样真的对我公平吗？
我不想哭了。

从以前到现在我都在左右为难着。
我到底要听谁的话？还是我有我自己的选择？
其实我真的有点想离开家人，生活在一个没有家人在身边的环境里。
至少我不会再左右为难了。

我曾经生气过很多次。
求求他们不要再这样了。
到底要到什么时候才能结束？

临时抱佛脚

Sociology ~~~~

so busy ya...

section A..section B..section C..section D....

we are all crazy liao lo..

oh... can not like this lo next time..

I love this pic..

now we still do our assigment..haiz..

so busy busy busy..

3:15 am~

XXXX

为什么迟回宿舍就不给进门？
为什么只是因为做功课迟了不给进门？
为什么会有这样的制度？
到底那些人有没有读书？
到底那些人有没有脑袋？
到底那些人在干什么？

我有千千万万个理由
这是有道理的
如果真的是我错了我会道歉
但是在我道歉之前请你们好好想清楚你们的规定到底是否正确
到底是不是在为我们找想



“一个没有脑的上司是永远也不会管理好他的部门！”


一个这样的地方会令我彻底失望
会让我想逃离这个地方
同时我会永远瞧不起



真的让我非常非常的生气
同时我很遗憾
为什么竟然会有这样的管理方式
我真的纳闷儿透了
这是我遇到过的最糟糕的事情



刚刚，明明有得可以先不要进宿舍（因为看门口的人不给进）
但是我偏不走，我就不相信他不开给我们
如果这样的制度也能通过
那制定制度的那个人真的很失败



我真的是受不了了
唉！

hoo..

Finally completed my part for sociology but i dont know all correct or not..
this assigment was got more funny things..because we stay in McDonald's from 8pm to now still not finish all..
I already feel tired here..and I dont want go to class for Graphic Design Tomorrow..
Haiz..
When I feel this I miss my bed so much..and my bear..
The first time I feel is funny and want to help from my group members..
Thanks for them so much and hope We can get a Good Results..
OH My God..when can I sleep In my sofe bed and have a Good Dream If I can..
Now is 1:05am..Tired tired tired..but I got some harvest..
How to say nie?
Emm.. ok la..
I think now I can take a little rest lo..
Later I will continue do our job..
Gambateh!

我快不行了！

一次！两次！三次还是这样，始终有一天我会受不了的。
人的忍耐真的有限！
不要说空话，不要去想不劳而获的东西。
不要再用别人对你的疼爱来换取自己想要得到的东西。
就算是再好的人也是看不过眼的。
我静静是因为我再也不知道给什么反应。
不知道哪一天。我。。。
我真的非常伤心，对于此事，我真的真的。。。
不要逼我讲人生的第二次粗口！

in the morning

in the morning

im very down and sad i dont know the reason.

after, i was thinking long time and get a conclesion is:

last night when i wrote something in my blog, at the same time,i was crying.

when i finished it i was lying on my bed and thinking about why i was so down?

When i know the reason i still thinking why i want to DIE?why i want LEAVE this world?

I dont want say anything and i just feel i will afired something.

i know all of urs will beside me. but...

Christmas coming soon.. i just want finshed my exam fast and get a Christmas tree..this Christmas tree is my friend in German house..is it so beautiful?

But..so many times i just imagine that is not reality things in my life. This is Pieces.

Later you all will know me because now is not show infront of yours.

I hope you all will understand me ang forgive me for i did some wrong things before.

Thank you very much!

Friends forvevr!

我...

我，很心软，从来没有真真正正讨厌过一个人，从来没有跟人吵过架（除了妈妈）。
我，很容易相信别人，很容易做傻事。
我，很容易哭，很容易伤感。
我，很容易不经意的伤害了别人，但都不是故意的。
我，很容易被人/事感动。
我，是个临时抱佛脚的人。
我，很喜欢依赖别人。如果没有了她们在身边，仿佛我失去了自我，然后就会大哭，哭得不省事。
突然有感，发现到自己很多的东西。
刚刚觉得，我好像会比较偏心某些人。从而我不敢去面对。
但是在我内疚的时候我却会很想哭，在这个时候我不希望有人会跟我开玩笑。因为不我想因为这样而生气。
在我心里有多不胜数的苦衷，但又能如何？
我，知道我自己不善于交际。
我，不想对任何人有什么不好的看待。
但是原来人无论怎样好都不能做到这一点。
我，讨厌，很讨厌，很想回家。
也许回家就可以逃避一切。
我，有想过到底我有没有后悔现在的生活，我告诉自己我不后悔。
但是为什么心里就是不安。
现在，我必须面临同一个时空的两种生活方式。
我，不是神仙，不可能一下子转变得到。
但是我却不能把这两种生活方式融合到一起。
我，快要哭出来了，哭得淋漓尽致。
我，曾经患过轻微的忧郁症，曾经差一点儿患上厌食症。
不知道接下来我又会怎样？
我，还曾经想过要离开这个世界。
我，甚至试过躺在床上一个晚上在想到底用怎么样的方法才能死去。
还想过我的遗书要写什么？是不是最普通的那句“妈妈，女儿不孝....”
我，不想尝试那种好心没有好报的感受。
我，不想伤害身边任何一个人，只有毛泽东的那句“舍己为人”
也只希望做到像张思德的“为人民服务”
我，从来不会把自己抬高，只要有一天我还被人记得就好。
总是觉得自己是最渺小的。
总是觉得没有人没有了我是不行的。
我，从来不被人所看重。
我，从小就背着很大的重负生活。
但是我不能给自己信心，不能勇敢。
到现在为止，我都很失败。
鱼和熊掌不可兼得，舍鱼去熊掌者也。
我，很悲观，很不开朗。
我，会突然开心，会突然伤心。
我，原来还是很在乎别人怎样看待我。
我，还是算了吧。
普普通通的过，才是普普通通的我。

Please!

人怎么样也好，忍耐度也是有限的。

我很心软。
所以，

你最好不要让我讨厌你。

我不想这样子！

PLEASE!!

busy day

Because i need to do my assignment do i went to joe xuan and chuey wei's house..

haiz...this day so busy d nie..just send some pic..

i cut my hair in sp, only RM20 o...hehe..

before

after


before i cut hair,we all 5 person went to OLDTOWN and online do our assignment o.. we seat there about 5 hours..o~ so tired d...

and i eat many nice food lo..haha..let me fat liao la..

cannotcannot

me n chuey wen

'OLDTOWN'

wa..so hard to do some work..ming and wen

me n wen

To my DeaR [DauGhTer]..

Today is my dear {daughter} Candice's birthday..
Our All familys including many friends came to RED and Celebrate with her..
I think she got a Surprise in the Party..that cake so nice so Delicious..hehe
Last we were so happy and play that games..
but dont know why always is me...hehe..]never mind la..

Dear daughter~last night you so beautiful o...
Happy Birthay!
I will always love you and take care you ya.. but you also take good care yourself o..and I also hope you can forever together with your lunl lun..haha
last night i was so paiseh.. you know de la..hehe~
as you happy I also happy..and hope you can always keey your smile d..
Muackzzz~

Always remember but only in my mind

This happenede in the lasat month...
remember the days (10.16-10.21), lasted for six days.
i remember is a pain but never want to retain memories.
Six days, ups and downs, make me crazy.
I don't know hoe i came, i just know I cried many times.
I just know I cried in tht toilet for nearly an hour.
I just know I hate the casual one.
I just know I can not be divorced.

A LOVE-HATE relationship!

Is that a word from my friend-siang, I changed all my ideas.
"HE WILL BE DISGUSTED WITH YOU IF YOU WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO"
Now that I have always remember these words.
I finally understand that the reson.

Im always being soft-hearted. When will bear fruit?

无题-随心所欲

以为那是爱情，但却错了。爱情没有那么容易上手，也没有那么容易结束。
有人说，只有经历过爱情的人，也真正知道人生的挫折，人生的道理，人生的道路，也唯有经历过爱情的人才知道才体会到，原来人活在世界上是有色彩的。
好像离开了，好像开始了，好像结束了，好像变了，好像塌了。
在这段路上，唯有感人的事情才触动到人们脑袋里其中的283根经，只有这283根才是教会我们勇敢的走出那艰难的一步，以后的路是以后的事。
没有人知道，即使结束了，即使完成了，也未必得到欣赏。
亲爱的，
如果你明白了，
请告诉我，
如果有困难了，
请允许我再一次自私的跟你说，
对不起，
我不能再帮你了。
还有很多人明白了一个道理
《对不起，我爱你》并不容易说出口
明白的只是“对不起”，却不为什么要爱
人总是在愉快的时候面临分离
总是在要结束的那一刻才知道原来结局不是自己所想的那样
没有了自由，还有什么？
没有了亲人，还有什么？
没有了自尊，还有什么？
有人希望可以永远活在只有灵魂没有肉体的身上
但却不知道灵魂永远也不能与外界联系
没有了生命，永远也不可能说“永远”
只有永远的封存在自己的心里，无人所知
也只有生命可以拯救一切
没有无话可说
没有心甘情愿
没有天涯海角
没有上天下地
没有了这些，就没有人类的存在
如果明白这个道理的人，也许可以成仙了
也许可以永生不死，也许可以被受尊宠了
从爱情到生死，你是否已经做好决定
是否已经选择好了，是否在以后能……
有些人不希望再继续往下说了，因为他们相信，相信那所谓的XX教
万一被人说中了，他们便比九死一生还要惨
灵魂出鞘，并非人类所愿
人们所愿的只是平平安安，身体健康，八个字仅此而已
像现在的要好好的过
为别人多想一想，如果可以做到，神赐一样所有人都希望得到的：
执子之手，与子偕老！

may be no mood~

suddenly feel no mood..
why?
i also want know the reason..but..
i dont know how to say..
maybe.. i met somethings.. maybe i just thinking in my mind..
maybe..
just listented one songs..nice..
-眼睛不能没眼泪-
i just know..i will sad in this song..
...愿你记住 结束感情没有罪
变心不是你不对
假使背着年薪一起太傻女愿我记住 眼睛不能没眼泪...
...无需宽恕 有新感情没有罪
如果他这麽理想 别要 内疚心虚
强装宽容就算累 你不安是我不对...
END...
MAYbe i will become sronge..maybe i will cry and feel...
maybe that is...
i hope this will well..

happy end+ing~

today is last day in kangsar..

about 1pm i was wake up in the morning...so so late ah..

the last 5 hours i left kangsar i went to taiping..and taiping river..

hehe..i wanted to find Jacky d.but he was busy..

then we went to eat LOK LOK..and shopping in TESCO..

today i also buy many many things.. spent my lots $..hoo

i become poor ppl lor..

this weekend im so happy...

PS:sue wen's brother so cute ah..but i forget take photo to him..

2nd day

today im so tried..but..so funny,,because we go to ipoh shopping,watch movie and eat nice food..
we watch movie with susan lo.. james bong..007..
haha..nice..i also want watch the coffin d..
i think next time lo..
so tried ah..want sleep liao..but later i want go out eat nice food..
FRIENDSTER ah..dont know what happen d..cannot play d..
i heared my friends said got ppl hacked nie..dont know why..
haiz..

1st day in kangsar

haha..i finished my class at 12pm and...i went to kangsar with sue wen ya..
than lusee fetch us by susan's car..
...
...
i lay in sue wen's bed and chat with her long time .
haha we are so happy d nie..
about 7.30pm we go out to eat near her house...
than we go with her mum and her sister.brother go "shopping"..
me & sue wen bought earing..so beautiful d nie..

*bibi~u know ma..we so happy ya because has new earing..
but u dont have lor~hehe..*

i miss my bed in hostel o~
ar..ke xi ke xi ..bibi today cannot come with us..
later i will go out to eat again..
just think about like this lor..
want to zzzzzZZZZZZZ~

Tried days~

I finally completed my assignment from Basic News Writing & Reporting..

So i can write down about my story in one day..althought it already is next day but never mind..^^

afternoon i have presetation for my spoken 1..this time change me ask other group members, is so funny d nie..

in the morning class,me and my friends do a so funny and so sha d thing because we are so broing ma and leturer already finished teached us..

haha..yaya..we all togther take some photos in ming bibi's laptop..oh..not some. is more la.. i think about 30 ba..hehe..

is it so crazy?haha..i think you can will agree with my mind d..

AT NIGHT..i go out eat in BT with my friends ..just this week we already go there eat three times liao lo..hehe..but actully there is no nice..have many foods can chooes..i chooes diffiuclt food evetytime i went BT..

so i think u can tasty from my introduence..

ABOUT 9pm..i go down with my group members in study room continue do our assignment,,untiljust now..we finally compeled liao lo..haha so happy d nie..

i found one thing..do assignment also can very happy and funny.. but want see which ppl i meet lo..hehe..

ok la...now is so late le.. my roommates already sleep so early lo..about 12am..hehe..

so i need go to my bad lo..goodnite~

haaaapyyyy... day~

Today is a happy day.. yeah yeah yeah..

today is international day..i have class - Basic News de ma..than last night Yumi sms to me and told me want me today 9am arrive college and help, so the class no need have lo..haha.i sure so happy la..isn't it?

Because the school van only at 7.30am and 9.30am can fecth me to sekolah. so i told Yumi i will go to college at 10am..she agreed liao..

In the Lim Lean Teng Hall, have many ppl come to see and eat from different coutry food..than i sell the Japanese food ..hehe..we are so busy ah..but im so happy..in other side.my senior draw some beautiful pic in my hand including my name"yifan"..the color is black d nie..so nice..haha..

At the same time.also have catwalk .fashsion show . sing songs . and dance and so on showed to me..also nice nice..

and and and.. when end of this event.i saw my koran friend - Mina..she is a cute girl and a pretty girl..now i hear she study in high school ,and her school beside my hostel nie..but i never saw her before..but never mind la..hehe..because i can see her in HCC canteen.she go to ELS learn English again..emm..

many days i go out to eat with my friends - siang.yee.son.lun.candice.peng~amd so on..i feel so happy..with them i can no need think more and they also can make me happy d..so i like with them very much..of cause..i never forgot my bibi~ d...haha..i also love her d..hoo..i said many times liao lo..hehe..never mind..

From now on..i will be happy everyday ...try my best la..

aiyo.. this day ah.. i spend much money o...because this month many friends birthday and i need buy present to them..and i eat many thingss..because i always eat .. one day.i can eat many times nie..hehe...i become a fat fat girl lo..aiyaya,,cannot like this le..can not can not..

when i happy i will eat more more d...

hoo..Tonight have many laugh in our room..we were talking some broing things d ma.. hehe..and today i was so hard to do my assignment lo..kaka..

emm.. i hope everyday like that such happy~

Haiz..

Today ah...hehe..i wear a new shoes went to school ya..so happy..

I was afraid to step on my white white shoes..

than,when i have a Basic News class,bibi seat in my life hand side.sue wen nie is seat in my right hand side ..we all know bibi is likes a child like play..than she ues high line(insdulcing mine,sue wen and herself de) to dran a bee in my hand..more than one, but also a lot of..and kiss me..

but,bibi~i love u d.i know d ah..hehe

next time we must ask that rich man take us to eat nice foodd de..ok?

At night..have a thing make me so so so angry d..

some students ah on the G floor uesed their car and opened the music so so so loudly..aiyo~please.. at that moment, i was sleeping d ma..how to know.they like that..haiz..than i go down and watched them and i really want to scolded them..haiz..Last week they went to Taiwan , hostel so quiet .how to know they not enough came back 2 days started make some noise..this not the first time.we said uesless.the warden also..haiZ..iF they go on like this i will collapse..